To preface this story, you know those form emails you get to let you know that you’re no longer being considered for a job?  The ones with the plain, boring text that say “Thanks, but we’re considering other candidates who more closely meet our needs at this time,” and “Please do not respond – this email address is not monitored.”  Well, here’s a dirty little secret – we do monitor those…

So when you reply to that message saying something snarky like, “How much better qualified can you get?!” – I see that!  And now I’ve permanently blacklisted you from my company and forwarded your message on to the rest of my department so that they can laugh at you.  Do you feel better now?

Oh, and as a side note – the guy who actually emailed this to me this morning didn’t even bother to take the time to research my company.  Yes, he was perfectly qualified – for an entirely unrelated field that just happens to have a similar name.  Nice going, buddy!

It should go without saying that any time you interact with HR, you should be on your best behavior.  Channel your mother, church Sundays or whatever else you need to do to stay on your toes whenever you’re dropping off your resume, emailing or calling my department or receiving news that you didn’t get a job.  Yes, I know the job market sucks and it sucks to get turned down for jobs that you really want.  If I could, I’d give everyone a job – believe me, you should hear some of the sob stories out there.  But really, find other ways to take out your agressio and frustration beyond emailing me snide comments!

Readers, be warned – I’ve got one heck of a rant coming up!

So, I’ve been posting a lot on Q&A sites like Yahoo Answers, and one of the most common questions I see is what people should include as their “Objective” on their resumes.  I’ve got one simple answer – skip it altogether!

I know, I know – everyone says you need an Objective.  But as an HR Assistant, I pretty much skip over them entirely.  In the best cases, a well written Objective comes off as sounding self-serving and generic.  Something like, “Seeking a job that will enable me to use my outstanding customer service skills,” doesn’t really tell me much about you as a candidate or why I should choose you over someone else for the job I’ve posted.

But in the worst cases, it’s even worse.  I can’t tell you how many resumes I see every day that reads, “Seeking a {Job Posting title} with {Your Company}.”  I mean, really?  Don’t you think I know that?  Of course you want a job with my company – that’s why you’re sending me your resume!  Unfortunately, including this as the first thing on your resume takes up valuable real estate that you could be using to highlight relevant job experience or some other outstanding qualification.

That’s why I recommend that you drop it entirely.  Instead, try to tailor your resume and cover letter to the specific position I’m hiring for.  This achieves the same goal of telling me why you’re the best person for the job, but in a much better way.

Agree?  Disagree?  Post your comments below!

Every time I visit CNN’s website, I get so frustrated – it seems like every article they do on the recession is getting whinier and whinier.  Yes, the economy is tough and yes, jobs aren’t as easy to come by as they once were.  Maybe I’m just jaded after spending most of the last decade in the Detroit area, but seriously people – quit your complaining and do what you need to do!

For starters, get out of dead areas.  I know, I know – this isn’t going to be feasible for everyone.  If you’ve got a house, selling it right now can be impossible in some markets and if you’ve got family in an area, that can make it even harder to think about leaving.  But really take a moment to think about the things that are tying you to where you are right now.  If you can’t come up with a real solid reason for staying, why not consider some of the markets that are actually growing?  CNN and other websites have all sorts of rankings for areas that are actually experiencing positive job growth – do some research and see if there’s something that might work for you.

If you can’t leave, concentrate your job search on growing fields and recession-proof industries.  Yes, I know it’s hard to believe, but there are some industries and companies that are actually growing and expanding – even in these tough times.  For example, snack foods and video games are two relatively recession-proof industries – when people are looking to cut back, they’re doing by buying cheaper alternatives to going out to dinner and the movies.  Seek out employers in these industries in your area – you might be surprised to find out that they’re expanding and hiring.

Of course, desperate times call for desperate measures, so you may need to think beyond the standard 9-5 job.  Maybe you can’t get one full time job, but you can get two part time ones.  If one of those part time jobs is with a company you like in your field, consider sticking it out – after all, recessions are temporary.  In the future, when things swing back to normal, you’ll be first in line to be considered for a full time job.  It’s also time to break out your entrepreneurial spirit.  If your friends and family members have always complimented you on your cakes, start selling them to former co-workers, sports or church buddies or any other acquaintances.  Just two words of caution – be sure you’re in compliance with all local statutes (especially those that pertain to selling homemade foods) and keep your startup costs in check.  It’s easy to get carried away when you’re starting any new activity.

So get creative.  Sure, getting a job in a recession isn’t an ideal situation, but if you use this as an opportunity to develop your innate creativity, you’ll find that you’re better prepared to cope with unpredictable situations in the future.